


Unsuitable Living Environment

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, The Doctor shouldn't have kittens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-06
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2018-01-03 16:17:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1072566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The TARDIS is not a place for kittens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unsuitable Living Environment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [betawho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/betawho/gifts).



It was proving to be a magnificent Christmas Eve but every time she was with the doctor it was magnificent. He had showed up and broken her out of her cell. They had spent a glorious Christmas Eve in London and when she woke up, it was Christmas morning. River was due back to the prison (well she was never supposed to be out but that was just semantics) and she wanted to spend the time she had left with the doctor.

She came downstairs and paused when a very particular sound reached her ears. It sounded like a ‘meow’.

“River, come down here! You’ll never believe what found!”

“Sweetie, please don’t tell me you found a basket of kittens when you stepped outside the TARDIS this morning.”

“Oi!” the doctor shouted, clearly offended. “How did you know?”

“Spoilers,” River said with a teasing smile but it quickly faded at the sight of three kittens running around the TARDIS.

He huffed. “Right.”

River made a noise when one of the kittens climbed on top of the controls and nearly started the TARDIS. She was quick to grab the completely white kitten that had a spot of black on its head.

“Sweetie, what are you doing?” she asked as the Doctor plucked the kitten out of her hands and practically cooed at it. “You can’t keep the kittens.”

“Why not?” the Doctor argued. “I think you and I could give them a good home. Don’t you?”

“I agree but I’m not always here. What will you do then?” River prompted.

“I can take perfect care of them!” he defended before dangling one of the feline offenders in River’s face. “How can you say no to this face, River?”

“No.”

He cuddled the kitten close when it mewled. “She didn’t mean it.”

“Doctor…”

His attention suddenly shifted from River to the two remaining kittens who were scratching at walls or really anything they could get their little paws on.

“The TARDIS is perfect for them! There’s plenty of space.”

“Where will you put the litter box?”

He paused. “Litter box?”

“Yes, sweetie they do need to relieve themselves every now and then.”

The Doctor tugged at his collar and set the kitten he was holding onto the floor. He looked around and then went ‘aha’ before rushing over to a corner of the ship. “I can put it here!”

“Out in the open?” River asked critically. “What will you do about the smell?”

“I’ll just get really good litter. They have that don’t they?”

“Doctor, be reasonable. The TARDIS is not a place for three small kittens.”

He frowned. “Well I disagree, River.”

“Of course you do, sweetie,” she said with a smile. “It doesn’t change the fact that I am right though-“

River never got to finish her sentence when the TARDIS suddenly shifted and they began to move. When she looked over at the controls she saw that all of the kittens were crawling all over it.

“All right, maybe the TARDIS isn’t the place for kittens.”

“Oh my dear, Doctor. What will I ever do with you?”


End file.
